If you’ve known me for any period of time, then you’ve probably heard my name associated with the word “workhorse”. Being known as a “workhorse” is a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because, if done properly with the right heart attitude, many things can be accomplished for the kingdom and for His glory. But recently I’ve come across this attribute as carrying a great cost.
In ML-J’s “Studies in the Sermon on the Mount,” I was struck down by his sermon on Matthew 7:22:
“On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’
ML-J goes on and gives examples of these “many” who will claim to know the Lord and yet He will turn them away. Here is the example that cut my heart deeply:
“We need to be quite clear about this, for there is no doubt that one of the greatest dangers of all in the Christian life is that a man may live on his own activities…You can be so busy preaching and working that you are not nurturing your own soul. You are so neglecting your own spiritual life that you find at the end that you have been living on yourself and your own activities. And when you stop, or are stopped by illness or circumstances, you find that life is empty and that you have no resources.”
He is speaking of those who are possible “workhorses” in ministry who find their spiritual nourishment/life in their work. There is a chasm, a canyon-like gap, between their hearts and Christ. And yet they are completely satisfied being nurtured by their own ministry/work to not take notice of their soul’s malnourished state.
We had a good weather day recently, so I took the boys out to play at the nearby soccer field. We were winding down our stay and I was trying to convince the boys to leave so we can eat some ice cream. But my oldest would say, “Not right now” and then proceed to run around. A grandma and her granddaughter was around us and had a bag of peanuts. My oldest ran up to her to ask for a peanut. In that moment, and out of principle (I don’t know where those peanuts came from), I warned him not to take that peanut and that if he did, there would be no ice cream. In complete short-sighted, childish, and impulsive action, he looks at me and takes the peanut and begins to put it in his mouth.
Suffice to say, we didn’t have ice cream but rather had a talk about the whole incident. He substituted something that is much tastier, safer, and coming from his father for a peanut from a random grandmother. He started to breakdown and said “Why did I do that?”
The point: Being a workhorse often places me in this danger of substituting peanuts (the work I do) for the greater and more satisfying gift of all: Christ. The heart can subtlety say that it is sufficient to do the work and live off of that, but the Word says otherwise. I’m glad that there are still seasons in which God will give me these heart checks and cause me to ask the same question as my oldest, “Why did I do that?”
God, why do I keep substituting the work I do for Christ? Nourish and teach me that I may not look to any other resource but Jesus Christ for my spiritual life.