Sometimes when I’m in the thick of living life, it becomes easy to go on autopilot. My mind and my heart become consumed with the routine, so much so, that I don’t recognize anything has changed.
On one such occasion, I was going through the day, in the middle of doing laundry, or going from one room to the other looking for something; I honestly can’t remember what I was doing. I was doing something mundane; nothing out of the ordinary. As usual, my mind was running a mile per minute, running through the mental checklist of things I had to get done that day. After having kids, I realize a lot of my thoughts run back and forth between what I need to get done in the moment, and what I need to plan for (or have failed to plan for) in the future. Because H hasn’t started school yet, our summer months are pretty much like any other time of year. There’s nothing special about summer time except that it’s warm enough to go swimming, and Alex has a little extra time. My mind was on hyperdrive trying to figure out what to do with the boys all summer. What meaningful activities could we do? What new skills could we learn? How can I better engage them so they are not wasting away all summer?
I remember stopping in my tracks as my mind drifted to one thought in particular. I was physically stunned. This thought caught me so off-guard that I had to sit down to draw focus to it. In the midst of all this preparation, preparing for the summer, preparing H for school, preparing for the next day, and the day after that, what was I doing to prepare my boys for eternity? Even as I think about it now, I can feel the crushing weight of guilt and dread. My mind was now in full sprint. What does it matter if they go through a lifetime of education and accomplishment, but never truly know the Lord? What benefit do they receive if they excel at the things of this world, but miss eternity in fellowship with their Creator?
No amount of repentance will ever console me if my foolishness leads my children astray. As much as we need to prepare them to be well-functioning members of society and responsible adults, we cannot forget that this portion of their life is so brief in comparison to the life they will live forever after. Our priorities can be so backwards sometimes, our vision so near-sighted.
If I were to chart out the current priorities in my life, what percentage would go to God and what He values most? What I consider to be great strides in parenting, pale in comparison to what God has taught me through parenting me. Why would I keep that from my own children? From anyone? What could be so important that I would neglect to sing God’s praises to them each and every day?
As I’m recovering from shock and a complete sense of feeling defeated, I remember Paul’s words:
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:13-14
Our God is so merciful, isn’t He? Please pray for me. Pray with me. Pray for my boys, and for their salvation. Pray that they will know, love, follow, and submit to the Lord all the days of their lives. Pray that they will be more faithful than I’ve been. Pray that they will live in a way that honors God and brings Him glory. Pray that they will delight themselves in the Lord and receive blessing from Him. Pray that they will live well, and die well to the glory of God.
Let me end with this short encouragement from Psalm 103.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits … He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments. The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all. (v.1-2; 10-19)