Dear BCC,
This letter has been a long time coming, I hope it finds you well and serves as an encouragement and a testament of His goodness and faithfulness to all of us.
When I first attended BCC, I had just parted ways with a group that I had come to think of as family. I had gotten to know most of these people when I first became a believer and we practically grew up together. It certainly wasn’t an easy decision, but it was on good terms and it needed to happen. I honestly believe that He orchestrated events so that I would be forced to leave; otherwise my loyalty would have kept me there longer, as it had for the better part of twelve years. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret any of the time I spent there. I think fondly of those times and my “family” and I probably always will.
A friend, from the aforementioned group, had brought up BCC before. He had friends who attended and told me about it. In his description, I remember him saying something like, “They’re hardcore and a little conservative. They’re really into studying the book.” I’m not sure if he was trying to deter me or just let me know what I was in for, but I remember thinking, “That’s exactly what I want.”
The first time I visited, I arrived early. I guess not that many people arrived early back then, because I remember coming into a completely empty room of chairs. I sat down somewhere toward the back waiting for service to start when someone from the welcoming team came up to greet me. She asked if I was new, what I was looking for, etc. I think I told her I was looking for real fellowship, possibly discipleship. I don’t really remember what I actually said, but I remember thinking “What I need right now is for someone to rebuke me with the truth.” I was at a stage in my walk when I was starting to feel weighed down; I wasn’t really striving after Him. It’s not that I didn’t want to be a better and more faithful follower, I think what I lacked was consistent, solid teaching and a better understanding of what it meant to abide in Him. Somehow, someway, I had lived a large part of my C life unexamined. I knew my sins and was painfully aware of my shortcomings, but I’m not sure that others were. And if they were, they never brought it up to me.
Having attended a C college, I was forced to study the book. I have to admit, it wasn’t something I enjoyed at first. But He was so gracious in helping me to see the truth through those studies. It wasn’t long before I fell in love; I couldn’t get enough. I remember bugging my old teacher at ch, asking for deeper studies or to study the book’s history more. I felt like I was a fly in his ear, constantly buzzing with ideas on what I wanted to learn. By the time I found BCC, I was starving.
To be honest, I don’t remember the content or the passage of the message that was taught on my first Sunday visit. What I do remember is being rebuked. It was an answer to my secret longing. That’s when I first thought that BCC might be the place for me. New situations and surroundings make me very uncomfortable, so I surprised even myself by coming back week after week.
I joined a small group after some time and got to know some of the sisters a little bit better, but it wasn’t long before I started to feel really lonely. I went from years of knowing everyone at ch to knowing no one. It seemed like a place where people already had years of friendship behind them, so it was a little intimidating coming in as a new person. Everyone was very welcoming, but I missed having steady friends to commune with. There were a couple of times I contemplated visiting other places and I wasn’t entirely sure if I was going to become a member or not. I wrestled with this for some time before realizing that what I wanted and needed most was to be in a place where the truth was taught and upheld. That ultimately sealed the deal for me. I remember saying to myself, “It doesn’t matter if I don’t have any friends as long as I have JC.” Kind of sad and childish for a twenty-something-year-old to still be struggling with peer issues, but loneliness had been a condition of my life for so long that I was always finding new ways to deal with it.
Just like that, I signed my first member’s covenant. I remember telling people at the welcoming dinner that coming to BCC was like taking a breath of fresh air. I was (and am) genuinely thankful for His providence in bringing me to BCC. I loved hearing about the history of BCC and how faithful G was in growing the group, not because of any special gimmicks or tactics, but simply because He was there. And I’m thankful to have witnessed a lot of this growth myself. It serves as a reminder to me that I’m not running this race alone. I love knowing that there are other likeminded people who I can support and be supported by.
It’s been about seven years since I became a member, probably about eight since I started attending BCC. I happily think of BCC as my home and consider you to be family. It’s difficult being away, but we’re especially thankful for your support. We’ve received so many encouraging emails, calls, and messages. People have sent us things without us even asking for them. And others still have gone out of their way to serve us. It’s always been hard for me to be served. A lot of times it makes me uneasy, but I’ve learned to accept it graciously and to serve more generously through the example that I’ve seen at BCC. Our family is so grateful to you and we love you so much.
Your humble servant,
Jen (Alex, Haddon, and Baby Han by association)