For those who know me, I previously lived in EA for about a year a half. There’s a lot of similarities and differences when I compare these two experiences, and so I’ll share a little bit.
One of the obvious differences between my two stints is the presence of my family. During my first stint, I was single and fresh out of college. I was presented with a different set of opportunities then, and I am presented with another set now. I must confess that I’m tempted to have the “grass is greener on the other side” thoughts about my family, but G is merciful and gracious to remind me that blessing me with Jen, Haddon, and Ryle is a wonderful form of favor and one that I’m constantly grateful for. The support and companionship that Jen has given is indispensable. The joy in seeing Haddon grow is encouraging, and the reality of adding another life to our family is nerve-racking but also humbling.
Speaking of relationships, one similar observation that connects my two stints is the importance of relationships. A friend of mine once told me that it takes almost 7-8 years for a local to be completely open and honest with you. The way you treat someone can either yield more candidness and vulnerability or vagueness. One practical way this is seen is from our summer English camp. The majority of our students came from referrals from literally three people. Because relationships are so important, it’s vital to maintain and invest into each others’ lives. We’ve been both the recipients and givers of investment and it’s really cool to see how G will use that for His glory.
Another major differences is seeing how those relationships have blossomed over time. As mentioned before, it takes a while for a local to open up, and having started relationships with locals about 10 years ago, I can positively state that it has led to more intimate and open discussions about him. They are always in wonderment when they’ve actually seen me 10 years later with my entire family. They still can’t wrap their minds around the idea that I would willingly move from America with my family. One recent example of this is my meet up with Tim. We’ve been friends for 10 years and one of the more touching things he said was that he keeps practicing his English because he wants to continue to communicate with Henry and myself. I was blown away by that response and it has led to opportunities to share and discuss about G and all that pertains to him.
Back in 2007. Don’t mind the hair on my chin. I regret I ever attempted it.
9 years later. Older, fatter, and no more chin hair.
Another similar connection that I can make is the growing usage of the Chinese language. I’m learning new ways to say things. Currently, I’m trying to learn Chinese through video chat with a teacher. I like it so far because it offers more flexibility with my schedule and the cost is lower. I’m hoping to maintain my language study in the midst of all that is going on.
Another major difference is the growing sense of materialism. It’s amazing to think how commercial holidays are back in the States, it’s even more amazing to see how they try to make certain days an excuse to splurge on purchases. I remember asking questions about 11.11 or 12.12; searching for the real significance of these “holidays” (Peppero day doesn’t count). All people can say is this is a way for online shopping to boost sales. Posters of items that you can buy on certain apps or websites are plastered on buses and elevator walls. I can’t even read 80% of what is stated, but the message is loud and clear: Spend your money here.
An ad for 11.11 which is Singles Day.
One final similarity is saying goodbyes stink like no other. Saying goodbye to my friends in 2016 is just as hard as it was saying goodbye back in 2007. We’ve had to say our goodbyes to some friends. Even saying goodbye to the most recent summer team was tough, but it was softened a bit because we will be seeing them again soon. If there was one thing I wish I could have learned in seminary, it would be how to properly say goodbyes.
And the final difference is that we’re staying behind. When I was single, the option to go back to America was always there. It seemed like staying in EA was just temporary and that, with a few clicks of a mouse, I could get a plane ticket to go back. Not so in this case. With our family here and beginning the work, roots are being planted and the notion of moving back is fading away.
Thank you for sharing, Alex! It’s encouraging to hear about G’s faithfulness all these years to bring you back to EA and your faithfulness as well to do the very necessary kingdom work for G!